#100
I couldn’t even remember what spirit I had in running with my back to Bill Will. I heard Kwak Jeong-han’s voice behind me, but I shook it all off. It had to be that way.
“Mr. Sehyun… !”
When my outstretched foot broke and stumbled, a portal reached my fingertips. Kwak Jeong-han’s urgent voice was soon buried between the portals, and when Se-hyeon opened her eyes again, she was standing on the desolate dust-spattered ground.
The people in front of him were heroes who were faithfully waiting for Sehyun. The moment Sehyun made eye contact, everyone stiffened in shock. Sehyun wiped his cheek with his sleeve and stretched out his feet again.
“road… ?”
“Rod, what’s going on?”
“road.”
My mouth didn’t open. Sehyeon, who had been licking her lips several times, eventually gave up and looked past the worried gazes. The heroes’ gaze turned to Kwak Jeong-han, who came out later.
An expression full of heartache. The heroes who saw Kwak Jeong-han immediately followed Se-hyeon without even asking.
After that, I just ran aimlessly. I ran so hard that I was out of breath, and I ran so hard that I could faintly hear voices of concern.
In that brief period of time, Sehyeon went back and forth between the past and the present countless times. From the time there was noise until now.
Sad eyes and suffocating looks. Even the wounds that I couldn’t bear to touch.
All Sehyeon thought about was the superficial story. He thought it was because his race changed, because he didn’t come on the day of selection, and because he neglected the empire.
[Giving you a different answer. That was our intervention.]
But what if that is actually a distorted truth?
The circumstances so far passed through my mind. A clear figure of affection. Friendly actions that seemed at first glance. And even the discordant topics that were called abandoned.
Sehyun lifted her sleeve again. Every time a damp sleeve grazed their cheek, the heroes’ gazes also sank heavily. Still, he couldn’t care less.
The emotions Ruhak must have experienced made his eyes turn red. It was when he reached the castle tower that the heroes stopped walking. From the moment Sehyeon started climbing the stairs of the castle tower, the heroes stopped following him.
Sehyeon ran that arduous road without stopping. Even though he was out of breath, he held his trembling fingertips and headed towards Ruhak’s office.
In the office we arrived at, there was Ruhak working in the same manner as yesterday. Even at the sound of the door flinging open, Ruhak only glanced and did not show even the slightest agitation.
“What’s going on?”
Ruhak’s gaze sank again. His fingertips were neat as he flipped through his documents. Sehyun followed the fingertips and moved forward step by step. I tried to comfort his lips, but no words came out, perhaps because the emotions welling up to the tip of his throat were not going away.
There was only silence that felt unfamiliar. Ruhak’s gaze turned to Sehyeon again. The moment their eyes met, Ruhak’s eyes furrowed slightly.
“… with me… .”
The first words that came out with difficulty were locked away. Ruhak put down his papers and stood up. The sound of footsteps ringing in my ears was different from other days. It was the sound of footsteps that somehow felt impatient.
Sehyun’s gaze also lowered little by little. Maybe it was because my heavy breathing had subsided, but I could see more.
The past days without courage passed by. The sense of betrayal he experienced touched me deeply. Misunderstandings that have built up to the point where they fester.
Sehyeon only now realized why he looked at me with such hatred, why he didn’t want to engage in conversation, and why he looked so hurt.
In fact, I wasn’t confident. Still, Sehyun opened his mouth heavily, feeling that now was the best time.
“… What you did with me… Last conversation… Hey.”
The voice broke up. I didn’t even know if it had been conveyed properly. As expected, Ruhak remained silent. Because he was afraid to look, Sehyun couldn’t raise his head.
During the first reliability check. He wasn’t open minded. He answered all questions with silence, closed his mind and ignored everything Sehyun said.
The same was true during the second reliability check. It was only after the third confidence check that he began to answer. ‘The only time I will give up on you is when you die.’ That was also the time when Sehyun said that. At that time, he heard the understandable answer from Ruhak.
I didn’t know that I would remember it without missing a single detail. Even back then, Ruhak was merciless, so Sehyeon always felt embarrassed. Nevertheless, Sehyun always treated him with sincerity and devotion.
I don’t know why. Now that I think about it, it was like that. Why were you so desperate?
It just seemed like it had to be that way. Even though I knew it was just a game, I even skipped food to check on my retainers and cried while sharing everything they were going through.
Ruhak began to open his heart when he confirmed the tenth level of trust. A long time had passed since the species changed. It was a time of hardship. There was a time when he spent every day in tears.
That was the first time I heard words of trust from Ruhak. ‘I trust you.’
I felt like I was compensated for everything. To Sehyun, Ruhak was that kind of person. It’s too hot to swallow, but it’s warm to hold.
And I tried to live up to that belief.
This was the 20th reliability check. The day before the final confidence check was an unusually cold day, so Sehyun had to play the game covered in a blanket, shivering and holding the controller.
At the time when the breath came out, the words Sehyun typed were sincere. He still had vivid memories of trembling while waiting for the horse to return. The answer he received during their last meeting solidified a lifelong feeling for Gasin.
So I waited. So I was looking forward to it.
However, the words I waited so long to hear were words of hate that seemed to have settled down in frost.
‘I hate you.’
That feeling at that time. The criticism and resentment conveyed by the distorted expression.
I felt like I was left alone in the world. On the one hand, I felt resentful. It was like that back then. Se-hyeon was also human, so he was as resentful as the affection he poured out, and he had to suffer as much as that resentment.
But if all of that is a lie, how on earth should all our time be compensated?
By what means.
“memory… summer solstice… ?”
There were times when even asking this was hurtful to both of us. There is no way that gap can be filled by solving it now. Even though he knew that well, Sehyun approached him.
Suddenly a hand came under my chin. When his chin was lifted, what he could see was Ruhak’s black, dead eyes. Drowsy eyes scanned the corners of Sehyeon’s eyes.
The gaze we met was quiet. Ruhak still said nothing. He just quietly wiped away the tears. But when the tears that had been soaking Sehyeon’s cheeks disappeared.
“There’s no way you’ll remember now.”
he answered. Looking down at Sehyeon with the same critical gaze as before, he answered like that.
Sehyun clenched her jaw tightly. The hand that was wiping away his tears forcefully grabbed his chin and forced it open.
“Open your mouth.”
As his mouth opened, the hand holding his chin loosened again. His hand, which was holding her chin, pulled Sehyeon’s chin up closely.
“You came here just to say that?”
“I love you.”
Sehyun spoke the words she had told Ruhak a long time ago. Ruhak’s hand, which touched the tip of his chin, stiffened. Even his cold gaze hardened. There was something there that I couldn’t say I’d forgotten.
“… “You remember.”
Sehyun’s tears fell on the back of Ruhak’s hand. There’s no way I forgot. After that day, we parted ways, but you couldn’t have forgotten.
The confession that Sehyun made when we checked the last trustworthiness was a whisper that she loved him.
“He said he didn’t remember.”
Ruhak ignored the events of that day. Just like Sehyun has always done.
The hand that was holding the tip of the chin narrowly grazed the corner of the eye that looked like it was about to explode and reached the back of the neck. The fingertips that held the hem of the clothes wrapped as if to protect the cervical spine were tense. Sehyun ripped off his hand and pushed Ruhak away.
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“summer solstice… mind.”
“What you need to ask me is not this kind of question.”
“Don’t…” “Listen to me, Ruhak.”
Ruhak just laughed. And when the smile disappeared, a strong force pushed Sehyun’s hand away and crushed the back of his neck. I struggled, but it was no use.
The place where I was dragged helplessly by strong hands was on the desk in Ruhak’s office. Ruhak pushed Sehyun’s body up onto him as if shaking her off.
Rattling-
Sehyun’s hand hit the battered writing tools and documents and scattered them all over the floor. A white document with smudged ink and Ruhak’s name fading into black. It was as if his name had disappeared.
“… “Nell.”
When I looked up at the shadow above my head, I saw the blackened Ruhak nearby. I was scared. Every time he turned black, Sehyun had to blame herself. That didn’t change even after coming here.
Still, I had some expectations. As before.
“But you… “Even after the species change, you gave me permission to use that name.”
Ruhak often, if not always, allowed that name when they were alone. Of course, he wasn’t like that from the beginning. Immediately after becoming a Black Elyos, what Ruhak showed was pure hatred, not love. He was denied credibility, and he almost died at one point.
Still, it got better. Although it was little by little, communication improved to the point where we were able to confirm the final level of trust.
“okay… It did.”
Tired eyes were looking down at Sehyeon as if they were tired. A fierce hand pressed down on Sehyun’s shoulder. He was tired even from that. Nevertheless, he did not let the ink touch Sehyun.
Ruhak stretched out his hand with his tightly closed clothes. The sight of him leaning against the desk was unfamiliar and scary. No, Sehyun already knew this face.
“… don’t do it.”
“what?”
“Don’t do it, Nell… !”
