Chapter 128 – 128. Time to give back
“what?”
Was it because my answer was so confident? Aria looked rather embarrassed.
Before I could react properly, I proposed to her.
“Then let’s find out together with me where the real Deius is.”
“… … “Let’s find the professor?”
“Okay, if we go up to the rooftop and look down at the Academy, wouldn’t we be able to find Deius?”
Aria seemed to be confused by my words and started following me in a pushed mood.
At the same time, it was cool to see that it was holding mana as if it was ready to pierce my body at any time, so it came to me.
First, Aria and I arrived at the rooftop of the dormitory. It was thanks to the other party members who controlled it so that no one else got in the way.
“If you look down at the academy, you’ll see something.”
At my words, Aria slowly approaches the railing, then stops and glares at me.
“You have a similar face to the professor, but why do you speak differently?”
Is it like the reaction you get when you see a character you care about being ruined?
Aria didn’t seem to really like my way of speaking, which made me let out a subtle laugh.
“Because you don’t see me as Deius.”
I hated talking like Kim Shin-woo in Deius’ body.
I wanted to have Kim Shin-woo and Deius as different people.
That’s why I deliberately changed my speaking style to a unique format that wasn’t similar in any way, and I didn’t bother talking about myself unless it was really necessary.
“I am someone other than Deius.”
“… … yes.”
Is it because he thinks he is being manipulated by something? Arya agrees, although she frowns slightly.
“So just take it easy. “I’m just someone you don’t know.”
“… … .”
Confused Aria looked at me with suspicious eyes, but I slowly stretched out my hand and pointed to the overlooking playground.
There were first-year students there who were training in preparation for the upcoming practical training.
Among them, Eleanor stood out by far, and the main supporting characters from the original work, such as Happy, Forencia, Leorus, and Jin, also stood out compared to the other students.
“Tsk.”
Looking at that, Aria frowned slightly as if she had a headache.
But I asked her as gently as I could.
“Those kids were your friends.”
“… … no. “It’s all fake.”
Because of Capgras Syndrome, Aria still thinks that even the students are fake.
But on the contrary, I nodded. Because Aria was actually saying the right thing.
“That’s right, these aren’t the friends you know. “Those friends with whom you went on adventures, shared friendships, went on trips, ate meals, and shared happiness and misfortune in the memories you hold are no longer there.”
“… … .”
Aria’s head turns slowly. Her eyes were staring at me.
“But it’s not fake.”
“Go, let’s go…” … “No?”
“Yeah, because, you know, we’re starting over.”
We don’t know why she got Capgras Syndrome. Did she ultimately not overcome the feeling of disconnect from the previous episode, was it a side effect of her regression, or was she simply mentally pushing herself out of the burden?
I don’t know what it is though.
She always moved toward the right answer, and for now, she was thinking that perhaps the disease that was tying her up was also a step toward the right answer.
“You can no longer meet the people you used to know.”
“ah.”
“You know. “To the point where I feel like all of this is fake.”
“iced coffee.”
Aria’s eyes wander again. Looking at old friends laughing and enjoying each other’s youth from afar.
“Why, I… … “It’s not there.”
The words fall out suddenly.
It was difficult to believe that the reason she displayed excessive aggression was simply because of her obsession with me. In that case, there is no need for her to show a harsh attitude towards other students.
Aria didn’t like it.
That his friends don’t remember him.
Although it was unintentional, even though he abandoned the world and saved his friends, in the end even those friends forgot the tragedy.
I refused because I didn’t like it.
I continued talking, looking at Aria’s bent back as she cried pitifully.
“And even Deius, whom you loved, is no longer in this world.”
“… … !”
Aria flinches and her back trembles. Her shaking hands were forced to rest on the rooftop railing.
Otherwise, it seemed like it would collapse.
“You saw it yourself. “To see Deius die.”
“ah… … .”
What can I do for you?
I really thought about it a lot.
Deius in round 1.
No, what can we do to restore the distorted aria created by Kim Shin-woo in the first episode?
I thought about it again and again, reconsidered it again and again, and revised it again and again.
Is there a way to make it even less painful? Is it possible for her not to be hurt even just a little bit?
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but.
There was no such way.
Just as severely, the obsession and dependency engraved by Kim Shin-woo in the first episode took root inside Aria, and thorns sprouted and became firmly established.
To pull it out.
There was no choice but to kill the roots themselves.
I killed Kim Shin-woo in the first episode with my own hands.
“The Deius you love is no more. “He is already dead, and the Deius of this world is a completely different person now.”
“ah.”
Aria couldn’t respond.
It was proof that she, too, had been subconsciously thinking the same thing. Because I was a very different person from the first time I was now.
“that.”
“Arya, you have to accept it.”
“… … .”
Aria’s body is shaking.
The falling teardrops wet her feet.
This is a story that can only be told now that you recognize yourself as a stranger.
Perhaps, if he had thought of me as Deius as usual, he could have just ignored this story.
Her heart and head were screaming.
That Deius is fake.
It’s someone else.
So Aria had no choice but to accept it even more. Because everything, even myself, is telling me that I am not the Deius he knew.
“why… … .”
It was a kind of complaint.
That’s why I didn’t bother to answer, and she didn’t expect an answer either.
“Why, why, why on earth! I did my best… … Family, professors, and friends. “I just wanted to save everything!”
“… … .”
“Why are you doing this! Why did everyone leave me? “Everyone has forgotten the memories we all had!”
Weakened, Aria falls to her knees and holds her face with both hands.
Nevertheless, the flowing tears flowed mercilessly between the cracks of her fingers.
“Why am I seeing it? Everyone is different! No one remembers me! We, we broke up! But why are you still here? Leave me alone! Laughing and talking! “Are you having fun?”
“… … .”
“I’m still in so much pain! I haven’t forgotten you yet! “I am, I am, I am not yet!”
Aria’s forehead touches the floor as she sheds tears. The tears that are pouring desperately show no sign of stopping.
“I want to see you!”
I don’t know how much time has passed since then. Just looking at the sunset sky, I waited and the girl continued to pour out the tears she had been holding back.
I just knew that no matter how much time she had, it wouldn’t be enough to release the resentment she had been holding on to.
“Tea, Lari.”
With a hoarse voice, Aria crouched down and opened her mouth. Even though her body was completely weak, it seemed as if all her energy had been lost.
They were looking for an answer from me.
“If I forget everything, will I be free?”
“… … .”
“If I forget my love for my professor, my memories with my friends, and everything I’ve done, will I be free?”
It was only after hearing it that I realized it wasn’t a question. It was the wind.
What would you do if you won the lottery?
Wouldn’t it be nice to come in first place in this midterm exam?
What if your parents were actually chaebols?
It’s a wish and a delusion that’s just as trivial, yet perfectly suited to that age.
I want to forget.
Aria was hoping for that.
but.
“That’s not freedom.”
That can’t be possible.
We can’t leave it like that.
I can’t make you forget everything you’ve done.
“It’s just escape and repetition. In the end, you will come back the same as you are now.”
slowly.
Aria very slowly raised her head.
Aria stands up, once again holding onto the rooftop railing with her trembling hands, and glares at me.
With fierce hostility.
“So! What on earth is so bad about that? No one, no one remembers anyway. No one knows anyway! “No one remembers me!”
Clenched fist.
My voice cracks because I’m completely restless.
A face covered in tears.
The sad girl is convinced that her past was worthless.
“Then me too! Can’t I just forget everything I did? “Can’t I just pretend that my worthless life never existed?”
“I remember.”
But that’s just a story limited to the continent.
“… … I beg your pardon?”
“And I was saved by seeing your life.”
A little further beyond.
Beyond the world, beyond the dimension.
“I think I know a little bit about why I came to this world.”
A boy who was saved while watching the story of a girl who persevered despite tragedy.
“It was to give back what I received from you.”
The time has come to give back to the girl the salvation she received.
fantasy, game, possession,