I am not a regressor episode 224
What is erased, what does not disappear (2)
I don’t remember.
It doesn’t come to mind.
When, where and why.
Did he and her become ‘lovers’?
‘My older sister was captured by Cheon Do-yoon… I used Gaecheon to save my sister… Then.’
Then.
What happened?
“… ah.”
He twisted his body, tearing out his hair.
No matter how much I think about it, no matter how much I look back on it.
I couldn’t remember that day.
‘Did I confess to my sister? Or your sister?’
I don’t know.
I knew deep down that we had feelings for each other ever since we were young.
Because we were so used to each other, I was reluctant to develop a relationship into a romantic relationship hastily.
‘My sister and I… ‘They’re lovers?’
Squeaky.
My head hurts like it’s going to explode.
It felt like I had been forced to piece together pieces of film that were broken in the middle.
I felt nauseous due to the extreme discomfort.
“Are you coming?”
Ha-eun stroked Oh-jin’s back with a worried expression.
“what’s the matter?”
“… never mind.”
“It’s nothing. “The expression on his face was as rotten as if he had eaten fish head curry.”
Ha-eun frowned.
“Shall I call a doctor?”
“are you okay.”
Ohjin took a deep breath and shook his head.
Cold sweat running down my spine.
The pain of losing some of my memories was greater than the pain of having my limbs cut off.
“… sister.”
“ok?”
“Do you like me?”
“What, what?”
Ha-eun jumped up with a puzzled expression at the sudden question.
“Hey, is this guy suddenly asking something like that?”
Ha-eun patted Oh-jin’s side, hiding her cheeks, which were as red as her hair.
For no reason, I kicked the floor with my toes and lowered my head.
“what… Of course I like it. that… But first of all… “Because you’re my girlfriend?”
Ha-eun, who was answering with an expression tinged with shame, frowned.
“No, but why are you suddenly asking such a question? yes? “Do you want to see me rummage around in embarrassment?”
Ha-eun put a headlock on him and shook his head with an indignant expression.
“… okay.”
Even though she had forgotten, she remembered.
Memories of the day we confirmed our feelings that we had not been able to express out loud for a long time.
Memories of the day when our bodies overlapped and we whispered love.
Memories of that day that I can no longer recall.
Just remembering her.
Just keeping her.
Just thinking about her.
will live
“… “I’ll go out for a moment.”
“ok? “Where are you going?”
“I wanted to get some air for a moment.”
Ojin shrugged his shoulders and got up from the bed.
“Shall we go together?”
“no. “I have something to think about alone.”
“Okay. You’re not even in puberty. “Okay, come get some fresh air.”
“ok.”
I put on the slippers under the bed and quickly went out.
Ride, ride!
Running through the hospital hallways.
I pressed the button for the elevator, but it didn’t come up because there were many passengers waiting.
“haha!”
I took a deep breath and headed towards the emergency exit stairs.
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I climbed the stairs as if I was flying.
I saw a rooftop door tightly locked with a padlock.
Quack!
I broke the lock with my hand and opened the rooftop door.
“Uwaeeeeeeek!”
The abalone porridge I received from Isabella stained the hospital rooftop.
“f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ckbaaaaaaal!”
Quang!
He violently hit the railing and cursed.
“haha!”
I feel dizzy.
It’s as if the picture of life has been erased with an eraser.
Memories that were not connected smoothly were painfully constricting him.
“Ah, ugh.”
I groped my left breast with my trembling hand.
The stigmata of Lyra engraved on the chest.
The black sky that will sleep inside.
‘from now on… If you keep using the stream.’
Will my existence disappear forever?
I can’t remember anything.
No one can think of it.
All the memories of my life up until now have been erased.
Will it become something else?
“Ha, ha, ha!”
My hands and feet were shaking from the overwhelming fear.
My teeth chattered furiously.
I could endure as much pain as I wanted.
I could endure any amount of pain.
but.
but.
but.
This.
“f*ck you, damn you!”
Tears flowed down my cheeks.
I knew it.
The side effect of Gaecheon is loss of memory.
However, in a corner of my mind, a complacent thought was taking hold: ‘But I guess I’ll just forget some of my old memories.’
It will naturally be forgotten as time passes anyway.
I was hoping that only the memories that would make no difference if I forgot them would disappear.
‘You idiot.’
A feeling of self-destruction rushing in.
Ojin sat down, leaning his back against the railing.
I hugged my two shaking legs with my arms.
I continued thinking with my face buried between my legs.
‘I didn’t know.’
Until the words ‘lovers’ came out of Ha-eun’s mouth.
He had forgotten that he was a lover with her.
‘however.’
I didn’t even think it was strange.
I didn’t even feel awkward.
I forgot my relationship with her so naturally, as if it had been like that from the beginning.
then.
Doesn’t this mean that from now on, every time you lose a memory, you won’t even be able to recognize what memory you lost?
“… if.”
What if all memories of Ha-eun disappear?
A life where you don’t even know who she is.
If you feel that it is ‘obvious’, you will live with it.
“… … .”
The arm holding my leg trembled slightly.
When he imagined that he would live a normal life without even remembering who Ha-eun was, he felt nauseated again.
‘A stream… ‘Can we not use it in the future?’
Cheonma.
The transcendental person who created the black stars would approach, aiming for the black sky he possesses.
Would it be possible to win against that transcendent without using Gaecheon?
No, there is no need to go to Cheonma.
Cassia alone was so powerful that there was no way to deal with it without using Gaecheon.
‘It’s not just that.’
In the first place, the beings that could be called the main enemies of humanity were not the Black Holy Society, but the monsters of the Demon World.
They say there is less movement now, but what if Named becomes active again?
What if the ‘kings’ who rule over the devil come to Earth?
Himself.
Can we really protect our precious people through all the adversity without using the stream?
“ha ha ha.”
A laugh flowed from Ojin’s mouth.
Know.
If you didn’t know the existence of Gaecheon from the beginning, you wouldn’t know that, but since you already know its power, the day will eventually come when you will have to use it again.
‘and.’
It will be erased.
It will be forgotten.
Happy memories, painful memories, and angry memories. Sad memories too.
They will all disappear one by one.
and.
At the end.
“… no.”
A voice that sounds like it’s being squeezed out.
The tears that flowed down my cheeks soaked my clothes.
“that… no.”
If all memories were erased. If no one remembers or comes to mind.
Can you call that yourself?
Wouldn’t he just become a completely different being with the name Kwon Oh-jin?
‘Then I will.’
A feeling of suffocation.
His mind was burning white and a thick fear consumed him like poison.
Wooooow!
at that time.
The pendant around his neck radiated light.
[My child! I heard from Deneb that you returned safely!]
Vega escaped from the pendant and flew up, making a fuss.
[Hmm?]
Vega tilted his head, perhaps sensing an unusual atmosphere.
She flew towards Ojin, who was crouching and leaning against the railing.
[Why are you doing that?]
“… never mind.”
[Uh huh. The traces of tears are clearly visible, so what does that mean there is nothing?]
Vega frowned and spoke with a stern expression.
[Are you physically sick?]
“no. “It’s just because it reminds me of the hardships I had in the Demon World.”
[…] Is that so?]
Vega stroked Ojin’s head with sad eyes.
[Don’t worry. Isn’t the real woman here?]
Ojin looked blankly at Vega, who was stroking her head.
“… “Vega.”
[hmm? Why are you doing that?]
“Vega, you’ve forgotten all your memories of your past life, right?”
[…] That’s right.]
“How did you feel when you first talked to me? “I’m the only one who remembers memories that you don’t know about.”
[Hmm.]
Vega crossed her arms and was lost in thought.
Breaking the silence that had lasted for a long time, she slowly opened her mouth.
[At first, I thought you were talking nonsense.]
“and?”
[In a past life, you and him… Didn’t you say it was a deep relationship? However, her real wife has no such memories… She felt something empty.]
Empty, d.
[But it’s okay now.]
“… “Are you okay?”
Vega nodded and smiled kindly.
[Even if the memory is erased, doesn’t that mean that what happened has disappeared?]
“… … .”
Oh Jin couldn’t answer hastily.
Because the things that happened between him and her didn’t ‘happen’ in the first place.
[Close your eyes.]
“eye?”
[hurry.]
I followed her words and closed my eyes.
Wooooow!
Along with the sound of vibrating light, I felt the touch of two soft arms carefully embracing my body.
Instead of having small arms like a doll, the arms were the size of an adult woman.
“Vega?”
[Even if you can’t see it, doesn’t that mean the real woman next to you is disappearing?]
“… … .”
Ah, yes.
It was as she said.
Even if the memories have been erased.
What happened does not disappear.
Even if he forgets all his memories of Ha-eun, Ha-eun will still remain by his side like now.
‘but.’
Oh Jin chewed his lips.
She truly believes the lies she casually told.
False memories. A false relationship. False memories.
I kept it in my heart, thinking that it was not something that had ‘disappeared’.
So what about yourself?
What will happen to you if all your memories are erased?
Will we end up living like her, believing that something that didn’t happen happened?
“if… “What are you going to do if it doesn’t happen?”
[What does that mean?]
“If you say that you and I actually had no relationship in the past life… “What do you think?”
[that… .]
Vega’s eyes trembled.
[It must be truly sad and heartbreaking.]
She smiled brightly and stroked Ojin’s head.
[Even if that were the case, I don’t think it would matter.]
“… “It doesn’t matter?”
[Isn’t what she knows now not the you of your past life, but the you of the present?]
A gentle hand wraps around your body.
[The main woman loves you as you are now.]
“… … .”
[Ahh! Even though I say I love you, it is not the feeling of a lover! Yeah, yeah! She loves you as her child… .]
“Vega.”
As if suppressed emotions were exploding, a sudden impulse pushed his back.
Ojin silently hugged Vega and bowed his head and sobbed.
[Hmm?]
Vega looked down at Ojin, who was sobbing, and then hugged him without saying a word.
[I don’t know why you’re crying.]
A gentle hand stroked Ojin’s back.
[Don’t worry.]
Her voice echoing in my head drove away the fear that was consuming my body.
[Everything will be okay.]
A soft whisper warmly enveloped the sobbing Ojin.
