Episode 136 < Surviving. (1) >
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One.
The Black Dragon Master glared at me.
“Shinseo Middle and High School’s second-generation bullies and all, you gave me that name while giggling. Gongja Kim. Thanks to you, I don’t know what’s going on in our class… .”
The Black Dragon Master’s eyes contained long-standing contempt.
But the contempt did not last long. The Black Dragon Master frowned and returned with an expressionless face. A complexion exhausted by his own emotions. I wondered if I could sculpt a sigh into an expression and it would look like that expressionless expression.
“… … it’s okay. I don’t even want to say this to you. Even if I say it, it only makes me feel worse. shit! “If I had known that I would see bullying when I entered high school, I would have gone to another school.”
“You are the class president. “I am responsible for what happens in class.”
“whatever? So you’re saying it’s my responsibility?”
The Black Dragon Master sarcastically said.
“That’s amazing. It’s true that you hang out with ■■ these days and meet students one by one. [They say Prince Kim repented. They say that Gongja Kim changed his mind.] Even the teachers praised him in the teacher’s office. “That’s good.”
A cold sneer appeared at the corner of the Black Dragon Master’s mouth.
“I hope people like you are comfortable. Is it okay to apologize after hurting someone else? Please forgive me because I apologized so profusely. If you say that, it will be over. Everything I did wrong was a mistake. “It was all a joke that hurt me.”
“…….”
“It has to be two or three times. Is your life all a mistake and a joke? If you don’t make a mistake or play pranks even for a moment, will you get sick? Do you see the world as a garbage dump where you accept your mistakes and people as a garbage dump where you accept your jokes? Children of infectious diseases. Like trash… .”
Pop. The Black Dragon Master pursed his lips.
This time, she stopped just before her emotions became more intense. The Black Dragon Lord looked down at her slippers nervously. After coming up to her rooftop, the Black Dragon Master did not look at Sal Cheon-seong even once.
“Class monitor.”
“… … “Don’t do this to me.”
The Black Dragon Master muttered.
“Don’t bring me to a place like this with ■■. Anyway, I’m trying to say something like apologize or admit that you were wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. It was your fault… .”
“You don’t think so.”
“…….”
When the Constellation Killer committed suicide due to the past trauma, the school desperately turned a blind eye. The classroom used various tactics to forget and cover up the [incident].
『He sent a text message like that. Aren’t you really crazy?』
『That’s right. Looking back, he was a bit strange from the beginning.』
The Constellation Killer is crazy. He is a strange human being.
On the other hand, we are ‘normal’.
Maybe he sent a text message harassing the Constellation Killer as a joke. But it was a joke. It was only a brief deviation. Everyone jokes and everyone deviates, so we are still normal.
Maybe there was a time when he laughed at the Constellation Killer. But that was a mistake. It wasn’t my true intention. It wasn’t something I thought seriously about, I was just giggling because I was swept up in the atmosphere around me. We didn’t do anything wrong.
『Think carefully about what is important to you and calm your mind.』
『Yes, teacher.』
Just like that, the classroom pushed away one classmate.
Even suicide and death could not awaken those people’s guilt.
+
I am the one you murdered.
do not forget.
you killed me
+
Except for one person.
The Black Dragon Master did not answer ‘Yes, Master’. He didn’t say.
I just lowered my head without saying a word.
“Seriously, don’t do this to me…” … .”
While numerous perpetrators were proudly going crazy, only one bystander remained silent.
“I did my best. When I was in first grade, I tried to block it too. shit.”
And there were hundreds of reasons why people became silent.
“I learned everything about the stars because of you guys… . I know that? This school is affiliated with Seryun Academy, a school corporation. There are 10 board members. Among them, Gongja Kim, are your girlfriend’s parents. You didn’t know, right? Without knowing any of this, you just took ■■ for granted, right? The board of directors also includes the senior pastor of Seryun Church of Samwon Presbytery. This is the church my family goes to! “I see it every weekend!”
The Black Dragon Master covered his forehead.
“Why do I have to know all this because of the shit you made! Kinda, just. Please do it in moderation. I’m also a second year student now… . I study while sleeping four or five hours a day. busy. I entered as a scholarship student just like ■■… . “I don’t know if you’ll just laugh and enjoy school life!”
Malice is easy.
“I don’t know why you bother others without even thinking about it!”
Good intentions are always impossible.
“This side is desperate! This school has a f*cking scholarship selection committee, and our great homeroom teacher is there as the second grade director! Don’t you know? You don’t need to know, right? Damn it, I brought up ■■ with Damtaeng… please. Stop it. I didn’t want to know this! It’s all disgusting. You, your homeroom teacher, the school, just everything… . “I’m busy with my life, so you guys should figure it out on your own!”
“Sorry.”
One reason is enough to commit malice.
There are hundreds of reasons to do good deeds.
“sorry? Ha, how sorry am I? no. f*ck. it’s okay. Don’t apologize to me. Don’t apologize, Gongja Kim. I don’t need an apology, and I don’t deserve an apology. And you don’t have to apologize or deserve to apologize. Because it’s trash. Just die as a piece of trash. Live like trash until you die. “Please, let’s not see each other after graduating from this school.”
“sorry.”
“Don’t apologize! “You bastard!”
The Black Dragon Master kicked my shin. Jeez. My bones rang. The Black Dragon Master huffed and slapped my cheek.
Curse-like violence continued.
I said while giving myself to the Black Dragon Master.
“This kid tried to commit suicide.”
The Black Dragon Master’s hand stopped.
“It must have been dropped a month ago. here.”
Silence fell on the rooftop.
“…….”
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The Black Dragon Master turned his head.
Only then did I see the Constellation Killer for the first time.
The Black Dragon Master kissed his lips several times.
“really… “Hey?”
Like it was awkward.
As if he found it difficult to even talk to the person in front of him.
“I tried to die… ?”
He spoke carefully.
The Constellation Killer faced the Black Dragon Master expressionlessly.
“that’s right.”
“…….”
“Gongja Kim, I don’t know how he knew. that’s right. “To die.”
“…….”
“The class president was thinking about that. “She had no idea.”
The rooftop became quiet.
slowly.
The Black Dragon Master covered her face with both hands.
“I’m not sorry… … .”
A sob escaped between my young fingers.
“I don’t feel sorry for you, I just. When I was in first grade, I was collecting information on school violence and happened to know this school’s board of directors. I thought that nothing would change if I exposed it, so I gave up. In second grade, I quit after talking to my homeroom teacher. I’m just that kind of person. “Please remember me as that kind of person.”
“…….”
“But don’t die. Don’t die… . Why are you dying? You can’t die. You shouldn’t die because of trash. then no. ■■. I have to live. huh? If I survive, get into a good university, make some money, and get out of this shit city… … .”
“I thought about it too.”
The Constellation Killer muttered.
“Then I think these bastards will forget.”
“…….”
“I think I’ll just live my life as if nothing happened. No, I don’t think I even remember. I hate that the most. I wanted to f*ck these bastards. I’ll forget it anyway… .”
The Constellation Killer looked down at the Black Dragon Master.
“Sorry. Class monitor.”
“…….”
“I didn’t mean to hurt someone like you.”
The Black Dragon Master knelt on the floor. She held her breath, covering her face. She gritted her teeth and held back the sound. The sound she held in shocked her body, making the Black Dragon Master’s shoulders tremble.
The Constellation Killer opened his mouth.
“There it was.”
I bent my knees.
“I thought there was no one.”
It got lower.
Until it reaches the same height as the Black Dragon Master.
“thank god. “A month ago, I didn’t die then.”
The Constellation Killer slowly wrapped his arms around the Black Dragon Master’s shoulders. The Black Dragon Master flinched. The Constellation Killer leaned his head a little closer to the Black Dragon Master.
“I’m glad there’s at least one person I can forgive.”
“…….”
“thank god.”
The Black Dragon Master’s breathing collapsed. It flowed down. The Black Dragon Master was unable to embrace the Constellation Killer. He just bent over and endured the cries that wracked his heart. The Constellation Killer hugged that classmate for a while.
“Sorry… … .”
The Black Dragon Master’s body collapsed.
“I’m sorry, ■■. Sorry. sorry. sorry.”
But the skin just melted away.
With shadows. It did not fall into ruin.
Someone, someone with the Black Dragon Master’s face peeled off, screamed.
“Please don’t die. please. please… . “I have to live.”
It was the face of someone I knew.
It was a voice I heard somewhere.
“I can live. We can live. I can live a little better. I have to live. ■■. I’ll try a little harder, because I’ll try a little harder. together….”
[The degree of realization of trauma is low.]
The iron door on the rooftop was eaten away by the void.
The pitch-black fog crawled like tentacles through the gap in the iron door. Without a sound. Black tentacles entangled the iron door.
It was swallowed up.
The void that sunk up to the 5th floor climbed up the wall of the school and flowed into the fence on the rooftop.
“No one cares about you. No one, no one. no one… . You shouldn’t die because of those beasts. I have to live. Your life shouldn’t be ruined by these beastly bastards. I stubbornly survived and studied, yes. After going to university… “Go to another city.”
I saw the person with the Black Dragon Master’s skin peeled off.
“Let’s live for the unfortunate children… .”
That moment.
“Let’s give time to children who are less fortunate than us. you can do it. You can do it. I will help you… . I did a lot of research. I studied. It’s not some stupid delusion. If you really want to do it, you can do it—.”
A shiver ran down my spine.
“—Let’s go to the Department of Social Welfare first. “I need a certificate.”
An electric current shook my head.
“If you want to live here, if you want to survive in this world, you have to become strong. ■■. You have to surround yourself with armor so that others can’t look down on you or interfere with you. let’s study. I will help you… . Can you help me.”
iced coffee.
“Where did you go to college, what qualifications did you have… . It may seem useless right now. But, if you have it, you can do much more than without it. We can do what we want. It’s strength. “You have to become strong first.”
ah.
“Let’s help the kids together. On my own… It will be difficult alone. huh. I might not be able to bear it. It might hurt the kids. But, with two people. With three people. If the four of us get together, we can do anything. “You can do anything.”
Director.
“try hard… .”
Director, teacher.
“This world is not everything. Probably not. ■■. We can create the world. small… . Start small. Just two people can create a world. Please don’t die… . together. Let’s live together in a different world… .”
The face of the young director.
『Don’t do that.』
『You did nothing wrong.』
It overlapped with the voice of a long-tired teacher.
If I think about it again now.
The director seemed concerned and wary of loving us too much.
『Don’t be distorted by a guy like me.』
It seemed like he was always afraid.
“…….”
The Constellation Killer stroked the young director’s head.
“I don’t think I can make any money.”
“I can’t make money… … .”
“I think it will be difficult.”
“They say it’s very difficult… … .”
“But I think it will be better than now.”
The Constellation Killer smiled.
“I gave up studying since the second semester of my first year. It’ll be a little difficult.”
“are you okay. It’s not too late. “It’s not too late for anything yet.”
“huh. Class monitor. In this world… … .”
[The degree of realization of trauma is low.]
“Let’s survive together.”
[The data cannot be recovered.]
The rooftop collapses.
The school is melting down.
The bell rings to signal the end of school.
[End of trauma implementation.]
What-if possibilities, what-if assumptions, and just-in-case hypotheses are buried in the black void. Even the smile the Constellation Killer made. I also didn’t know about the director’s childhood. Two classmates, one smiling and the other crying.
The past.
A past time that failed. Regret. Regret.
[Confirm that the subject’s ego is maintained.]
Everything disappears.
[End penalty.]
The world is immersed in noise.
■.
■,
■,
■.
I opened my eyes.
etc,
